Here is another real example of a marked and corrected IELTS Task 2 essay question.
I would like to thank the student, Sabina Khadka, for giving me permission to use it for the benefit of others visiting our website.
It’s one of a series of marked and corrected IELTS Writing Tasks on this website.
The question and Sabina’s unmarked response is presented and this is followed by our assessor’s marked and corrected version.
Question
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individuals well being.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Student’s Answer
It is believed that a mature person used most part of their life at work. Happiness at work is considered as an important factor in an individual’s life and this issue plays a significant role to accomplish goal of an organisation. However, some worker has some expectations from the place where they work. But is it pragmatic? This essay will discuss the reasons that provide pleasure at work for employee and measure their anticipation from the work place.
There are several reasons which contribute job satisfaction. One of the strongest reasons is lucrative job from which an individual can manage his family and save considerable amount for the future. Another compelling reason is promotion and reward which is often given due to their better performance. Staying in a company for a long without having these two factors can lead to frustration and depression in an individual’s life. Last but not least, opportunities for further study which is offered by the work place would enhance an individual personally and professionally.
There is no shadow of doubt that a person has some expectations from the work and it is certainly reasonable because people are often monotonous after performing repetitive work for a long period of time with empty hands. Furthermore, people would like to promote in a position which matches their personality and qualifications. A university graduate who has been working as a junior officer for five years would obviously like to promote as senior position can be taken as an example. Consequently, that person will be able to give fruitful result.
To sum up, in general, satisfying factors depend on individual. However, I personally believe that it would be better for both employee and employer if they could make certain criteria in job policy .So, that the people would know that successful completion of those certain criteria could give them more output than their anticipation.
Corrected Version
Note: Grammar errors in the student’s answer are marked in red.
It is believed that a mature person used most part of their life at work. Happiness at work is considered as an important factor in an individual’s life and this issue plays a significant role in accomplishing the goal of an organisation. Likewise, some workers have some expectations from the place where they work. But is it pragmatic? This essay will discuss the reasons that provide pleasure at work for the employee and measure their anticipation from the work place. (Excellent)
There are several reasons which contribute job satisfaction. One of the strongest reasons is a lucrative salary from which an individual can manage his family and save considerable amount for the future. (good vocab/grammar) Another compelling reason is promotion and reward which is often given due to their better performance. (good vocab/grammar) Staying in a company for a long without having these two factors can lead to frustration and depression in an individual’s life. Last but not least, (good vocab/grammar) opportunities for further study which are offered by the work place would enhance an individual personally and professionally. (good vocab/grammar)
There is no shadow of doubt (good vocab/grammar) that a person has some expectations from the work and it is certainly reasonable because people are often bored senseless after performing repetitive work for a long period of time with no end result. Furthermore, people would like to promote in a position which matches their personality and qualifications. (good vocab/grammar) A university graduate who has been working (good vocab/grammar) as a junior officer for five years would obviously like to be promoted to a senior position can be taken as an example. Consequently, that person will be able to offer a more beneficial contribution to the workplace.
To sum up, in general, satisfying factors depend on the individual. However, I personally believe that it would be better for both (good vocab/grammar) employee and employer if they could include certain criteria in job policy, so that the people would know that successful completion of those certain criteria could fulfill their expectations.
All excellent-good format, logical, inclusion of complicated grammar and natural expressions – 7.5
Thanks again to Sabina.
When you are preparing for the IELTS Test it is essential that you don’t just rely on model answers to gauge your own capability. This is because you will very often miss the subtle errors that you are making which could cause you to lose marks in the IELTS Test. Model answers can be very helpful but to know how YOU are performing you will need your work to be assessed by a professional so you appreciate your own shortcomings and how to improve them.
To your IELTS success,
James
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merin says
Thank you for publishing this essays. It is really helpfull. Hope you will continue to put more examples.